A woman’s decision not to name her first-born child after her sister’s late son as part of a family naming tradition has been praised.
Surnames can be a special way of connecting generations of the same bloodline, but one woman explained that she wants to end the tradition.
In a viral Reddit post shared on Am I The A******, user TechnicianFearless56 explained that she is pregnant with her first child.
She added that the family has a tradition of writing a middle name for the first-born child of someone who has died in the family.
A picture of a woman holding a baby. The Reddit user explained that she did not want to give her child the middle name Filip after her sister’s late son. Getty
The post added that her sister had lost her two-day-old son, Philip, and that it was a devastating loss for the family.
But when asked if her firstborn child could take his name, the Reddit poster admitted she had trouble including Philip in the name.
She continued: “The problem is that my husband and I don’t want to continue the tradition. We don’t want to give our son the middle name Philip. Neither of us like that name and we would never choose it. We haven’t announced the gender of our baby yet, but my my husband and I know we are expecting a boy.
“My family said how amazing it would be if my baby was a boy and could continue to be called Philip. I suggested they wait until we announced the gender and name before jumping to conclusions. They asked why and I said we were thinking about not continuing. traditions.
“My family, and I mean mainly my parents, were very upset. My sister was the worst, though. She asked why I wouldn’t want to honor Filip and why tradition was being broken for him.
“Then she asked if that was his name and [if] we didn’t like it. She said she really hoped it wasn’t that. I said we just don’t feel the tradition is something we want to continue.”
The Reddit poster further explained that the decision stirred up bad feelings and that he now feels terrible.
British baby name expert SJ Strum said Newsweek explained surnames can cause some discord within the family.
She said: “Passing on surnames causes so much rift in families; the biggest problem for parents is feeling denied the opportunity to name their own child.
“It’s the best part of pregnancy, in my opinion as a baby name nerd, and hearing everyone else come up with names while you’re stuck with one, whether you like it or not – it’s just wrong.
“At worst it can even affect your bond with the baby. This is so awkward between these sisters – the hardest part is that she might have carried on the tradition if she liked the name.
“Again; I’m looking at the feelings behind the consequences – your sister lost her baby and you’re about to give birth, I think it’s incredible of her to name you at all.
“Something so special and so painful for her. If you really don’t want to use the name; let it be for your sister’s sake, not you. Tell her you want her child to be the only Philip.
“Encourage her to keep it for her future children’s middle names to relate to her sibling, she can even use a female version of Pippa or find a name inspired by Philip, we call them ‘loving nods’ or ‘honor names’ when it helps people to break family traditions, so Philip becomes Colt because Philip means lover or horses and Colt means horse. But it’s a more modern name, or Baylor which means horse trainer. We’ve recommended this to a lot of couples who think it’s a really good compromise. “
The five most popular names for boys in the US in 2022 were Liam, Noah, Oliver, James and Elijah, according to the Social Security Administration (SSA).
The SSA also stated that the five most popular baby girl names for 2022 in the country are Olivia, Emma, Charlotte, Amelia and Sophia.
Since it was shared on September 26, the post has received more than 12,900 votes and attracted around 3,600 comments.
Most people who commented on the post sided with the Reddit user, while some also expressed their condolences to the family.
Reddit user aj_alva said: “NTA (not *******). You and your husband have the right to name your child whatever you want. However, your family also has the right to be hurt. Not only is this tradition, but it’s a tradition that honors people whose family has lost.”
TechnicianFearless56 replied: “I wish it wasn’t a fight. But I also know my husband would be unhappy if we use the name just to keep my family happy.”
IAmNotAPersonSorry commented: “Have you emphasized to your family that your husband has a family of his own and that your son will be part of his family as well?
“I suppose it won’t help with more emotional people like your sister, but it might be worth pointing out that your family isn’t the only person to consider.”
Newsweek has reached out to TechnicianFearless56 for comment via Reddit.
If you have a family dilemma, let us know via [email protected]. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured Newsweek.
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Source: newstars.edu.vn