DEAR DEIDRE: The first time I heard that my husband was cheating on me was when his best man made a joke about it during a speech at our wedding.
He said that my now husband used to send his friends graphic reports of his many conquests while traveling alone.
It was news to me and I feel devastated and humiliated.
While I looked brave until the end of the wedding day, as soon as we woke up the next day, I demanded the truth.
I am 31 years old and my husband is 33 years old.
Two years ago he went solo – traveling around Southeast Asia with my blessing.
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He burned out while working as a management consultant and didn’t know what to do with his life.
So I suggested he go backpacking for six months.
He had a great time and we talked regularly.
I even went out and stayed with him for three weeks when he was in Vietnam.
I thought the experience strengthened our relationship and helped us appreciate each other more.
I didn’t even know he was roaming around the world and even sending his friends detailed reports about the women he had sex with.
So when his best man teased him during the speech, “We don’t expect a report from your wedding night — like when you were in Malaysia, Singapore, Thailand, Vietnam, Indonesia and Laos — but just make sure you give her the same loving attention,’ heart I liked it.
I blurted out, “But we were still together then!”
My husband, looking shaken, scowled at his godfather and insisted, “He’s just kidding.”
But here, the damage is done.
The next day, my new husband admitted that he had slept with ten other women, but said that none of them meant anything and that he was “just taking out his frustration.”
He says that it is in the past and that now we need to move on.
That was more than a month ago. I vacillate between feeling like I’ll be able to get over it and feeling completely devastated and confused.
DEIDRE SAYS: It’s unfortunate that you found out about your husband’s infidelity in such a public way, at a time that should have been pure happiness.
However, no matter how publicly humiliating the event may be, this is a matter between you and your husband.
So try to focus on him to help you decide if you have a future together or not.
I’m sure he’d like to move forward, but in order to do that he needs to start with a sincere apology.
Instead of dismissing his affairs, he will only truly gain your trust if he can recognize that you need to make amends.
My Support Package Cheating Can you get over it? it will help you both to think about this.
Categories: Optical Illusion
Source: newstars.edu.vn