I’ve had a shocking realisation after having a threesome with my wife…

DEAR DEIDRE: MY wife and I decided to start our sex life with a threesome with another man.

It worked – we’re having a lot of sex again. The problem is that I feel guilty and worry that I enjoyed myself too much.

I am 38 years old and my wife is 36 years old. We have been married for 11 years.

A few years ago, the intimate side of our relationship stopped. I was stressed at work and just wasn’t sexually excited anymore.

I still loved my wife, but I couldn’t rise to the occasion.

It caused a lot of tension and upset and I worried that our relationship was doomed.

Then my wife suggested we try a threesome with another guy. It had always been her fantasy. I’m open-minded, so I agreed and we found someone online.

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I was nervous beforehand — worried that I would be jealous or not be able to perform. But the opposite happened.

It was so exciting that I got the most horny I’ve had in years. To my surprise, I found the other man’s body really exciting.

And watching him make love to my wife was an even greater thrill.

We didn’t have sex, but he touched me while I was having sex with a woman and I liked it.

I touched him too.

Since then, my wife and I have had the best sex in our relationship.

She has no idea that every time we do this I fantasize about the other.

I’ve never been interested in men, but I’m starting to wonder if I’m gay or bisexual.

DEIDRE SAYS: When a couple’s sex life gets stale, introducing a new element can bring it back to life.

While I’d never recommend threesomes as a solution—they’re fraught with risk—it seems to have done the trick for your marriage.

Now you have a lot of sex again, which makes both you and your wife happy.

However, the downside is that you also question your sexuality.

Try not to label yourself. Many people see sexuality as something fluid.

It’s probably the thought of exciting, subversive sex that turns you on, not the man himself.

If you had a threesome with a woman instead, you might feel the same way.

If you are concerned about this, please read my support pack, Bisexual Questions, and contact one of the organizations listed in it for advice.

Another one of my support packages Thinking About A Threesome may also be of help to you.